John Goodman said he turned down a nude scene on HBO’s The Righteous Gemstones because he felt uncertain about how his body would appear after losing 200 pounds. Speaking on the Nov. 2 episode of the Happy Sad Confused podcast, he said he worried his body was “too messed up” from the weight loss. Goodman added that he and the crew eventually found a way to film the scene.

The 74-year-old actor said he is still getting used to his changed appearance, particularly his face. He also reflected that his past lifestyle may have held back his career, describing it as possible “self-sabotage.”

Goodman has previously spoken about his long-term struggles with weight. After getting sober in 2007, he said he continued “eating alcoholically” and reached nearly 400 pounds. He recalled repeatedly losing 60, 70 or 80 pounds, only to regain the weight.

After stomach surgery, Goodman lost about half his body weight. He said he later became anemic, lost a layer of fat beneath his skin and now feels cold all the time.

His current focus is building core strength, balance and overall strength to help prevent falls. Goodman also described fracturing his hip after falling soon after returning to London from a Christmas break.

Sources: E! News.